


Alraune

by Mimic_Teruyo



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Fairies, Gen, Human Experimentation, Loss of Identity, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 16:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18703348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimic_Teruyo/pseuds/Mimic_Teruyo
Summary: Not all outsiders cross the border intact.





	1. Body and Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted from 11/22/2013 to 11/25/2014. Time flies, huh?

The first thing I noticed when I woke up, before I opened my eyes, was a sweet, hypnotising, flowery scent that overwhelmed my senses.

Something was amiss, I could tell right away. It wasn't a bad feeling, per se, but definitely odd: it was as if someone had stuffed my head full of cotton scented with wild flowers. Which flowers, I wasn't quite certain. Lilacs? Irises? It was difficult to think, and despite my uncertain predicament an overwhelming desire to return to sleep kept pushing me back beyond the surface. I didn't want the soft warm feeling to go away just yet.

After several more minutes, when the nagging feeling of something being wrong wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried to smother it, I finally decided to wake up for real. I still couldn't open my eyes in my sluggish state, but I slowly became more aware of my surroundings.

I was lying on my back on soft grass, with no sound to be heard save for a gentle breeze occasionally washing over me. Which was very odd, really, seeing that I had no recollection of ever falling asleep in a place like this.

Come to think of it, what had I been doing?

I forced my eyes open only to quickly snap them shut again as sunshine beamed directly into my poor unsuspecting retinae. Still, I managed to catch a glimpse of white flowers. On my next attempt, I got a much clearer picture of my strange temporary bed: nothing but lilies-of-the-valley as far as the eye could see, a sea of green and white, tear-like dewdrops glistening on their leaves.

I stared at them, still lying down, trying to figure out where on earth I could be. I had never seen a flower field like this before, that was for sure. How had I even ended up here?

I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to reminisce about what had happened before I had fallen asleep. My memories were muffled by the cotton in my brain, distant and unreal. I kept digging, and finally found something concrete: a familiar mental image of a railway station on a rainy morning. That had to be it.

 

* * *

 

_Left, right, avoid the group of office workers, keep moving, go around the giggling middle schoolers, don't step in the puddle, ignore the stares, you can still make it, run run run..._

_I keep wading through the crowd that gathers at the station every single morning, pulling the hood of my red cardigan more securely over my head to shield me from the relentless rain. I'm late, just like I'm late on every other morning of my miserable life, and can already hear my home room teacher's scoldings ringing in my ears. The other people at the station look askance at me, but I don't care._

_I sigh mentally. I hadn't meant to oversleep, I never do, no matter what my home room teacher keeps telling me. I really tried to wake up on time: I bought the loudest alarm clock I could find, and made sure to set it every single night. Problem is, not even the piercing beeps of the accursed thing are enough to rouse me on most mornings._

_Thing is, I am unable to fall asleep at will. On most nights, regardless of how early I turn in, I won't actually slip into unconsciousness until the wee hours of the morning. Is it then a wonder that when the blasted alarm clock rings at seven thirty to greet me into another day, I'm still so groggy that as soon as I get the thing silent I turn around and fall into reverie once more? I don't know why it's like this, but it's always been so: some of my earliest memories are of peeking through the curtains down at the empty streets bathing in moonlight._

_So, you can imagine why I roll my eyes at Mr. Moriyama when he suggests I go to bed earlier in the evening if I'm so tired all the time, and get sent into detention for disrespecting him._

_Still, all isn't lost today. I can still catch my train. I leave the cover of the archway and swerve towards the platform..._

_And crash right into another commuter and fall to the ground. A splash and a wet sensation being absorbed through my school uniform tell me I landed in one of the many puddles riddling the concrete. Fantastic. At least I didn't break any bones._

_The person I crashed into hadn't as much as budged despite the impact, like they're a concrete wall, and even as I was still seeing stars I could feel their gaze boring down on me._

_"I'm sorry..." I begin and look up, only to freeze as soon as I see exactly what sort of a person I had run into. She is a foreigner, taller than any woman I have ever seen, with long blonde hair and a knowing smirk on her face. She looks so strange and out of place, standing there in an elegant nightgown and holding a parasol in the middle of a full station with dimly-clad people scurrying around. It almost looks like she's glowing. The strangest of all, no-one else seems to pay any attention to her; none of the onlookers as much as glance at her._

_And when I get back on my feet, she smiles at me. It's a wide smile, with more than a little mischief. My stomach churns._

_"I'm very sorry," I repeat, then say the same in English just in case. She doesn't react to either phrase, but keeps her gaze directly on my eyes. I look away. For some reason that I'm not completely certain of I really don't want to meet it._

_I remember the train and scramble on my feet. "I'm terribly sorry, but I must hurry." I give her a quick bow and turn to leave._

_But my feet won't move._

_"I wonder..." the mysterious woman looks at me, her finger on her chin, her head tilted, and an amused smile on her face. "If I were to tell you your life is going to change forever, what would you do?"_

_"Huh?" It's not that I don't understand her; her Japanese is impeccable. It's the words that make no sense._

_Her grin widens._

_And then..._

 

* * *

 

I rubbed my forehead. No matter how hard I struggled, I couldn't remember more. After that, the next thing in my memory was waking up here, wherever I was.

Had I just imagined the whole thing? It couldn't be: something must have happened for me to end up on this flower field. But what? And why?

There were all these questions, and yet I couldn't bring myself to really care at this moment. I felt so comfortable just lying there. While there was little sun directly on me, the sunny air felt like the warmest blanket, and the grass I was lying on was miraculously soft. In fact, I was just thinking about drifting back to sleep and when my back started to itch. It felt like there was something stuck to it.

I slowly reopened my eyes and raised my hand to rub my forehead again. I blinked. Even if my memories were moving as slowly as molasses, I was pretty sure I hadn't been wearing green bracelets when I last checked.

"Huh?"

Something was wrong with my voice; it was way too high-pitched. I let my hand drop on my chest and felt some sort of a ribbon attached to my clothes.

I forced myself into a sitting position and took a better look of what I was wearing. I was in a white and green dress with a bell-shaped skirt, decorated with a light green ribbon on the front. My feet were bare save for an anklet on my left leg and when I reached out to grab my hair, I discovered wavy green locks with small white flowers interwoven to them.

_What the hell?_

I touched my face. It felt completely different too, a lot smoother and smaller. Now that I thought of it, my hands were a lot smaller as well.

Finally, I reached out and touched the itch on my back. I quickly pulled my hand away as I felt something filmy and fragile that definitely hadn't been there before. I summoned up my courage and touched the thing again, carefully pulling whatever it was into my field of vision. It looked like translucent fabric, framed with dark green vines. I finally registered it as a wing. When I concentrated, I could actually move it, and realised there was another one too.

There was only one obvious conclusion.

I had become a fairy.

How was that even possible? Fairies don't exist. And I'm a human. Humans don't just randomly transform into other creatures, especially not into ones that don't exist.

I jumped on my feet, and immediately regretted it: my vision blurred and I fell on my knees due to light-headedness.

There had to be some other explanation to what was going on. Maybe I was drunk? Or High? I neither drank nor did drugs. Maybe the lady had given me something unsavoury, and I had simply forgotten about it. At least substance abuse and hallucinations would explain my headache and the weird things going on around me. More than this all being reality, anyway.

Standing up attempt #2 proved to be more successful than the first. It still felt like a stubborn little smith was hammering away inside my skull, but at least I could get on my feet and look around without fainting.

I appeared to be standing in a valley on a large hill, maybe even a mountain. The entire valley was teeming with lilies-of-the-valley. It was more than a sea: it was an ocean of flowers. Towards the horizon, there were forests, and far into the distance a huge mountain. Nowhere where there signs of any human settlements.

As a test, I grabbed my wings again. They still felt real. Either those drugs had been some serious shit, or I really had been transported so far away from the city I couldn't even see roads. It was possible, but still wouldn't explain my sudden metamorphosis.

I buried my head in my hands. I wanted to go back to sleep. Maybe I'd wake up back up home, back to normal and all in one piece. I'd take a month's worth of detention over this shit. Anything that would make this nightmare go away. Anything that would allow me to stop thinking about all this, anything that would make my throbbing head feel better.

"I really don't think this is safe..."

I pricked my ears up and raised my face from my hands. An unfamilir voice. Young, female. Nervous. Very nervous.

"Don't worry, Dai-chan, it's gonna be fine. Besides, it's worth the risk." Another stranger. Infinitely more enthusiastic and optimistic than the first. I looked around but couldn't see the voice's owner. Then, I finally realised it was coming from above...

"Yeah, but what if she sees us? I don't want to be poisoned..." the first voice replied, and I could finally see who the speaker was as the mysterious duo descended from the skies; a young girl with a green ponytail on one side of her head, wearing a dress the colour of forget-me-nots. She had wings. I really wished she didn't. I really wished I stopped seeing impossible things.

"Don't worry," her partner said, grinning. She had short blue hair and wings that looked like shards of ice sticking from her back. "I'll just kick her butt and-" she fell silent as soon she clapped her eyes on me.

"Hey, it looks like someone's beaten us to it," she continued. She landed right in front of me and placed her hands on her hips. "Who're you?"

I took a step backwards. I didn't even mean to. I certainly wasn't intimidated by this fairy in front of me, no matter how she glared at me. It was almost as if my strange new body had a will of its own. The other fairy had landed by now, and also stared at me with curiosity.

"Well?" the blue fairy repeated, pulling a face.

"I'm..." my voice sounded so annoying and shrill even to my own ears. I didn't understand how the two of them could stand it.

Then it hit me. A realisation far worse than any other since I had woken up as a fairy.

I had forgotten my name.

Shouldn't that be impossible? How could I forget the thing that made me me? I racked my brain for memories that might help.

There was that morning at the railway station...meeting with the mysterious stranger...and..oh god, what else had there been? Lying awake during the night, staring at the wall...something like that anyway...there had been school...there were some blurry memories of other people, maybe my friends and family...but as soon as I tried to grasp the memories, they floated further away, until they were but faint images hopelessly beyond my reach.

The more I tried to remember, the worse my headache got. There were stars in my eyes, but I couldn't give up. I had to know...there must have been something I could use as a leverage...

Who was I?

I must have looked ridiculous, standing in place with my mouth hanging open for so long, because the fairy called Dai-chan tilted her head and said: "I think you scared her, Cirno."

"What?" the one called Cirno said. "I just asked her who she is."

"I know, but..." Dai-chan took a step forward and gave me a reassuring smile. "It's okay, she's not really mad at you. We just didn't think there'd be anyone else here."

"Why not?" I heard myself asking. For some reason, just focusing on the conversation made me feel so much better. I knew I had to keep thinking if i didn't want t lose myself completely, but a little break was probably fine.

"Because hardly anyone comes here nowadays," Dai-chan continued. "I mean, we come here sometimes, and other fairies do too, and sometimes there's a ghost or two hanging around...but most of the time, it's just her..."

"Her?" I asked.

"Yeah," Cirno chimed in. "And when we saw you we thought you'd had the same idea for a prank as we did, so."

"Prank?"

"Yup!" Cirno beamed with pride. "We're gonna grab a bunch of flowers and shower then on the Hakurei Shrine's courtyard, 'cause it's Reimu's birthday. It's like a prank and a gift at the same time! Clever, isn't it?"

"Uh, sure." I said. It seemed to work, because she grinned at me.

"We really should hurry, though," Dai-chan said, her eyes darting around nervously. "Medicine Melancholy doesn't like it when we pick up flowers here."

"Who's that?"

Cirno shrugged. "She's this youkai who lives here. Dai-chan thinks she's scary. You don't have anything to fear from her, she probably likes lily-of-the-valley fairies."

Fairies. That got my mind working again. After all, there had been something very important I had to think about.

My mind drew a blank. It had something to do with a blonde-haired lady, that I knew for sure.

"Hey," I said. "do you know anyone with long blonde hair that smiles a lot?"

Cirno and Dai-chan looked at each other. "You're gonna have to be a lot more specific," Cirno said.

"Umm..." Thinking made my head hurt. "I think she has a parasol. And a really pretty dress."

"Yukari Yakumo, maybe?" Dai-chan said after a brief hesitation.

"What's she like?"

"She's really strong," Cirno said, nodding as she spoke. "and she plays pranks on people too, but she never gets punished even if she gets caught. I'm going too be as strong as her one day, and play all the pranks I want." She grinned. "Speaking of which, we should grab those flowers and scram. Wanna come along?"

"Umm..." Both Cirno and Dai-chan smiled at me brightly. I couldn't refuse. "Yeah, that sounds like fun."

"Great!" Cirno raised her hands towards the sky. "I'm Cirno, by the way. And that's Daiyousei," she added, pointing at her friend.

"You can call me Dai-chan if you want," Daiyousei said. Her smile was really kind.

"Okay, Dai-chan," I replied. "I'm Alraune. Nice to meet you."

I paused. Something was nagging at me in the back of my head. Was that really my name? But it had come out so easily, it must have been.

Both Cirno and Dai-chan took it in stride, anyway.

"Okay, Al-chan," Cirno said without missing a beat. "Grab as many flowers as you can before Medicine shows up, 'kay?"

"Right!" I saluted and got down to business, gathering as many lilies-of-the-valley as I could. I was so nice having new friends.

And yet, something felt funny. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Hopefully the feeling would pass after a while. Maybe if I took a nap after our prank or something.

For now, I kept collecting flowers, competing with Cirno and Dai-chan to see who could gather the most before we had to go. It was a beautiful day, and this was going to be so much fun...

If only I could remember what had bothered me...

 

* * *

 

_"I do wonder..." Yukari murmured, examining her most recent prey. "more often than not, my special guests die so soon...Maybe, if I were to adapt your body and mind to your future surroundings beforehand, the fun would last longer?"_

_Her smile grew wider. "It's certainly worth a try..."_


	2. Ignorance and Bliss

_I was floating high above Misty Lake, looking for my friends, when I spotted a mermaid in the lake below. I swooped down to greet her, but by the time I had gotten to the lake's surface, she was gone and instead there was an enormous catfish with a wreath a spider lilies around its neck._

_"Is this yours, my lady?" he asked politely, and nudged its head towards a red hooded cardigan floating next to it. I wasn't sure, and I said so, and then..._

Then I was woken by bright sunlight hitting my face. I turned to my side, trying to return to the dream, not quite ready to rise from my grassy bed. The familiar scent of lilies-of-the-valley tickled my noise.

I finally gave up on falling asleep again and let my eyes flutter open. The sun was so high up it must have already been the afternoon. Not that it mattered: I had no plans for the day.

I sat up and looked around the Nameless Hill, my home. Spring had come, and with it came blooming lilies-of-the-valley. I was glad. Winter wasn't bad, but I have the feeling I was born to be a part of spring just like the flowers around me. Just seeing their leaves swaying gently in the breeze made my heart flutter.

As I admired the flowers, another person living on the hill, Medicine Melancholy, floated by, muttering something under her breath.

"Hello, Miss Medicine," I said, waving. I hadn't seen her in days.

Medicine glared at me. "Have you been to the south side of the hill lately?"

I shook my head.

Medicine sighed, and the winged doll always following her imitated the gesture. "Dandelions are invading again. Those good for nothing, poisonless..." she turned around and left, still grumbling.

I followed her with my eyes. Medicine can be pretty weird, but I still think of her as a friend. I had been scared during my first meeting with her, but in the end it turned out I didn't have to be: she had given me one judging look from top to toe, then shrugged and said: "You're one of Su-san's. You can stay." Now, we get along just fine. She doesn't talk to me much, and we usually hang out in different parts of the field, but when we do meet she's always very nice and civil. She gets a little cross sometimes if me and my other friends are being noisy, but in the end it could be a lot worse.

That is why I was sad to see her being so grumpy over something. I didn't really get why a couple of dandelions were such a big deal when we lived in a sea of lilies-of-the-valley, but even a hint of yellow made her see red. Maybe there were way more of them this year?

Maybe I could help? I had no other plans: I might as well go and pluck the dandelions away so that they would stop bothering her.

I stood up, stretching my arms and legs until I stopped feeling stiff, then took to the air and flew to the southern end of the field. It's the sunniest part of the Nameless Hill, but it has the least lilies-of-the-valley growing in it, so there's a lot of room for invading flowers. And sure enough, there were lots of yellow flowers mixed with the white.

I stooped down and got to work, plucking up every dandelion I could find, leaves and all. Maybe I could make a present of them to someone?

"That's quite the bundle you have there, Alraune."

I yelped and jumped back, spooked, clutching the flowers to my chest. Yukari Yakumo had appeared in front of me, or at least, half of her had: the lower half of her vanished into a gap decorated with ribbons.

"Hello," I said warily. Miss Yukari responded with a weird smile. I'm not sure I really understand her. Cirno and the others say she's very powerful and could probably wipe out the entire Nameless Hill if she wanted to, but she still shows up every once in a while, just to talk to me apparently. She never says anything mean, but something about the way she acts makes me nervous, even if I'm not sure why.

"Why are you picking flowers on a lovely day like this?" Miss Yukari asked, looking at the skies.

I held the flowers forward. "Miss Medicine doesn't like other flowers than lilies-of-the-valley, so I'm getting rid of them."

Miss Yukari raised her eyebrows. "You do realise dandelions can regrow from the roots alone? Just plucking away the visible parts of the plant isn't going to be enough."

"Oh." I frowned. How was I supposed to find the roots now that I had picked the flowers already? I'd have to wait until they regrew if I wanted to get it right.

"I know something else you might find intriguing," Miss Yukari said, that weird smile still on her face.

"What is it?"

Miss Yukari held out a closed fist. "Come closer."

I leaned in as Miss Yukari opened her fist. She was holding a glowing red orb the size of a cherry.

"Wow." I looked at her. "What is it?"

Miss Yukari kept smiling. Suddenly, she closed her fist and squeezed. There was a popping sound, and she opened her hand to show a glaring red light. I yelped and shielded my eyes with my hands when shutting them wasn't enough.

And then I opened my eyes. And stared at my hands. My tiny, so pale they were nearly translucent, and most importantly, wrong hands.

I looked up. Yukari was staring at me, keeping track of my every move, a malicious smirk on her countenance. My hands curled up into fists as if it was a primal reflex.

"You-" I lunged towards her, arms swinging, but she was no longer there. I let my arms fall to my sides. I had known it to be futile before I even moved a muscle. But futile or not, I had to keep trying. If nothing else, I had to make my opinion of her and her sick schemes crystal clear to her.

"Well, well," her taunting voice said behind my back. "it's nice to see you again too, Little Red Riding Hood."

I refused to respond to her and or to acknowledge the ridiculous moniker she had bestowed on me. Instead, I grasped the memories that were flooding into my brain, desperately trying to find an anchor in the sea of uncertainty. There had to be something I could hold onto no matter what, something safe from Yukari's caprice.

As hard as tried to ignore her, I couldn't help hearing her chuckle. "You look like a shrunken old lady with your face scrunched up like that."

"I don't care."

"I'm aware of that." I opened my eyes to see that Yukari had gapped herself right in front of me. "Now, is there anything new you wish to tell me?"

With a scream, I hurled myself at her, but I might have as well have attacked steam: I went through her like she was merely an illusion. I lost my balance and tumbled to the ground face-first.

"I'll take that as a no," Yukari said behind me. I heard a sound of a parasol being opened. "Can't say I didn't except as much." She sighed, in a mockery of a true concerned sigh. "Anything else?"

I remained on the ground, fighting back tears. It wouldn't even matter if I said something else. The whole endeavour was futile: whatever would happen to me next depended entirely on Yukari's whims, and what attempts I had made in the past to persuade her had always fallen flat.

And yet, I couldn't give up. My life was on the line, and I refused to discard it, even if the hill I tried to crawl back up to had been metamorphosed into a near vertical mountain.

I got up, wincing as I saw fresh bruises on my knees, and turned defiantly towards Yukari. "I want to go home."

Yukari twirled her parasol. "But you are already at home, Little Red Riding Hood."

My mouth felt dry. "My real home. My old home. The one you stole away from me."

Yukari tilted her head. "Why, don't you enjoy your life here? Immortality, new friends, no responsibilities..."

"I said, _I want to go back_!" I inadvertently screamed out the last few words. Yukari didn't as much as raise an eyebrow. "What about my parents? My sister? All my friends?"

"What about your friends here?"

Despite a slight twinge of conscience I remained adamant. "I don't care! This-" I gestured at the body I hadn't been born into. "This isn't who I am supposed to be! This isn't where I belong, even if you force me to think I do! I want-" Tears began streaming down my face. I really had tried to hold them back, but after a certain point, it no longer mattered. "Please, just give me my life back!"

I could already tell Yukari's response from her infernal smile. "It has been years, Little Red Riding Hood. The life you led then has long since passed."

"You can put me back where you took me from!" I yelled. "I know you can! Why don't you just do that?"

No response. I sank on my knees as tears blurred my vision. It was futile, futile...

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"You wish to know?"

I looked up and blinked. I had asked the same question many times before, probably every single time Yukari briefly returned my memories back to me before yanking them away once more. However, this was the first time she had even acknowledged the question.

"Of course I do!" I yelled, my voice by now hoarse from the shouting.

"At first," without a warning, she had appeared directly behind me. She grinned at me as I recoiled from her. "it was really just a whim. A test to see if I could turn an old game of mine into something longer-lasting. Naturally," she grinned at me like a cat grins at a crippled sparrow. "that is still a part of the game. And then..."

A chill ran down my spine. "And then?"

"I realised I could take this opportunity to more deeply investigate something I've been thinking about. An experiment of sorts, really. To see how someone who has had their humanity forcibly stripped from them copes under different circumstances." For a brief moment, her grin vanished. "And it seems to me you're far happier without memories of your past than with them." She opened her free palm. The red light from earlier was returning to it. This time, I knew perfectly well that it was, and what she was taking away from me.

"NO! NO!" I screamed and backed away as fast as I could as my memories were irresistibly plucked away from my mind once more. "Please, just take me back home! Don't do this!" I fell down as my mind collapsed and the world went black.

I opened my eyes. Miss Yukari was standing in front of me, her hand in a fist. My head hurt.

"I must take my leave now," Miss Yukari said, raising her parasol. I hadn't even noticed her opening it. "Say hello to your little friends for me, Alraune."

"Okay." I got up waved at her. "Bye bye, Miss Yukari."

"Indeed." For a weird moment, Miss Yukari stopped smiling, and she looked at me quietly, kind of like she was trying to see through me. I got goosebumps, but I didn't want to show her I was scared, so I didn't look away.

She slowly started smiling again, and she opened a gap under her feet and fell down into it. The gap closed behind her.

I shrugged. Miss Yukari had been bit weird like always, but at least she was nice. I looked around and saw all the dandelions I had picked so far had fallen from my hands and had scattered everywhere around. Oops.

I started collecting them again, but when I bend over, I noticed something strange: water fell down my face. I raised my hand to it, and noticed my eyes were watering, so much so it was like I had cried.

I couldn't think of any reason why I could be sad, so I wiped my eyes with the corner of my skirt and got back to work. Whatever it was, the beautiful day and pretty flowers would help me forget. 


	3. Past and Present

There was only one daisy in the entire patch of flowers that wasn't in bloom yet, a lone green plant amidst its white and yellow siblings. Of course, since it hadn't blossomed by the end of July, it would probably remain the solitary freak, live feebly only to wither in autumn without ever blossoming.

Unless I could help it, that was.

I held my hands on both sides of the sapling and closed my eyes. I did what I usually did when I tried to use my nascent powers; I concentrated on the mental image of the tiny plant in front of me, and made the imaginary flower grow and blossom in my mind. Sometimes when I did so, I would feel a surge of power within my veins, and when I opened my eyes again the real plant would have followed in suit. This time, though, as too often happened, I felt nothing.

I opened my eyes. As expected, the stubborn sapling was the same as it had been before my attempt. Even though I had known to expect it, I couldn't help but I lean backwards and sigh bitterly.

Cirno leaned forward to look at my face, head tilted and her hands behind her back. "No dice?"

"Nope."

"Too bad. Wanna go do something else now?" Cirno stood up and stretched her arms into the air. Her icy wings glimmered in the light. I found myself idly wondering if too much sunlight wwould make them melt. But then again, surely Cirno had enough strength to keep them frosty around the year. She had power to spare, especially compared to a second-rate weakling like me. As far as fairies go, we two weren't even in the same weight class.

I sighed again. "Guess so. Any thoughts?"

"Dunno." She flashed me a smile. "We could try finding where that key of yours fits."

Mystia, who was leaning heavily against a tree trunk, raised her gaze from her talons and gave me an inquisitive stare. "What key?"

"This one," I said, pulling the tiny brass key hanging around my neck on a red chain into full view, showcasing it to everyone in our little group. We were lounging on a small meadow next to a forest, with enough shadows to keep everyone satisfied. Today's gathering hadn't exactly been a successful one; the heat made us sluggish and unimaginative, and so the others had spent the bulk of the early evening watching me fail at doing my job, waiting for better ideas. "I doubt we'll be able to figure out what it belongs to, though."

Mystia leaned in closer to inspect the key as Wriggle yawned down from the tree branch she was lying on. "Where did you find it?"

"I didn't. Miss Yukari gave it to me."

"Why would she do that?"

I shrugged. "No clue." Miss Yukari had simply popped out of another gap of hers one evening and handed it over to me with one of her ineffable smiles. "She just told me to hang onto it, because I might need it in a few years."

Mystia frowned. "That makes no sense."

"I know."

"Since when has Yukari made any sense?" Wriggle quipped, the end of her sentence turning into another yawn. She had woken up early last evening, and I could tell by her listless gaze she wasn't exactly pleased to be expected to stay up the entire day too.

"Never, I suppose." I shrugged again and decided to give the flower thing one more shot. I had to practice, after all, if I wanted to stop being an embarrassement of a flower fairy. None of the others ever failed to trigger their powers, and I was sick of being the runt of the litter.

Still, even with Cirno and Dai-chan's advice and encouragement, I had hardly moved from square one, Sigh. Sometimes I wondered if there's just something wrong with me. Like maybe I was accidentally born as a flower fairy and not as a tree fairy or something else that I was meant to be.

I focused. Negativity wasn't going to help me, that I knew. After all, I did sometimes succeed. Not often enough to stop me being jealous of my friends - why was it that Cirno could conjure ice and Wriggle summon bugs in the blink of an eye, when it took me minutes to make a single flower bloom, if it bloomed at all? - but often enough to prove I wasn't just a magical zero. I was a magical one-half at least.

This time around, it was hopeless. My distracting thoughts only served to make sure that the stubborn thing wouldn't respond to me. Defeated and exhausted, I sat down on the grass. "Not gonna happen."

Dai-chan patted my back. "Maybe you're meant to make lilies-of-the-valley bloom?"

I hung my head. "I can't get it to work with them very often either." I had slightly better luck with lilies-of-the-valley, perhps because I've had so much practice with them, but it still only worked once every blue moon.

Cirno crouched down next to me and patted my shoulder. She smiled brightly. "Just keep practising! Do you think I'd be so good at making ice if I didn't do it all the time." For emphasis, she froze her hand and waved it in front of my face. "I've come a long way from when I was little."

"You're still little!" Wriggle shouted from where she and Mystia had been napping, grinning sardonically.

Cirno turned around on her heels and stuck out her tongue. "I'm not so little that I couldn't kick your butt if I wanted to!"

"Oh yeah?" Wriggle dropped down from the tree and walked towards us, her hands in pockets. "Wanna try it out right now?" she pulled out her spell card deck and split it in half. "Two versus two, what do you say?"

Cirno grinned and rose to her full height, cracking her knuckles all the while. "Bring it on!"

Dai-chan sighed. "Weren't we supposed to help Al to learn making flowers bloom?"

Cirno shrugged. "Hey, spell card duels are useful too! Who knows, maybe there'll be an incident on the mountain Al-chan lives on and she'll have to defend herself against Reimu and Marisa."

A shiver ran down my spine. "I'm not sure I want to do that."

Cirno waved her hand. "It's fun, really. Besides, you have to. You can't leave Medicine to defend the Nameless Hill all by herself."

"Well, I guess..." As confident as the others looked (well, besides Rumia, who was floating slightly further away and whose face I couldn't see from behind the ball of darkness she hid in), I still wasn't certain. "You don't think it's really that likely to happen though, do you?"

Wriggle stroked her chin. "Well, it's not exactly unlikely, either. There've been a lot of incidents in Gensokyo lately."

"Yeah, like the time when the new shrine appeared on the mountain," said Cirno.

"And when spring was stolen," Dai-chan chimed in.

"Yeah, that time was the best!" Cirno yelled enthusiastically.

"Oh, and then there was the summer with the red mist," said Mystia.

"And then there was the time all these demon tourists came to Gensokyo." Rumia had dismissed the darkness around her and floated closer by, her arms to her sides like always.

For some reason, the others pulled a face at her comment.

"Rumia, we were talking about that actually happened," Cirno said. Then, she pulled a ponderous look on her face. "Demon tourists, huh? That'd be pretty interesting."

"It happened," said Rumia, a vague smile lingering on her face, unperturbed by Cirno's refusal to believe her.

"No it didn't!" Wriggle said hotly. "I don't remember anything like that, and I'm pretty sure I'm older than you."

"How old are you, then?" Dai-chan asked Wriggle.

Wriggle shrugged. "Not sure. Cirno's older than me, though, so if she can't remember, it's definitely not true. So hey," she turned towards Rumia, "when did you say that incident happened?"

Rumia shrugged. "The summer before the mist, maybe."

Cirno folded her arms and nodded like the matter was solved. "Yeah, there's no way we all could have forgotten it then if it really had happened. Anyway, it was probably a dream."

"It wasn't," Rumia said obstinately, the tiny smile on her face never faltering

Cirno pouted. "Look, I have the best memory of us guys, and if I can't remember something that happened only so many winters ago it didn't happen. Also—"

"Weren't you two supposed to have a spell card battle?" Dai-chan suddenly interrupted.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Cirno looked a little miffed and glanced at Wriggle. "But I kinda wanna talk this through first."

Dai-chan winked at me. I nodded and suppressed a giggle. We both knew that if Cirno got started, she never gave up until she won, and if we wanted to do something other than watch her debate with Rumia for the entire afternoon, it was better to distract her as soon as possible.

"Come on, Cirno!" I said in my most cheerful voice. "I wanna see you battle!"

"Yeah, but..."

"What's the matter? Chicken?" Wriggle taunted, a diabolical glint in her eyes.

Suddenly, the warm July air got very chilly. Cirno's eye twitched as her mouth spread into a massive grin.

"Never!" She pulled out her spell cards and posed. "Prepare to eat dust! And specks of ice!"

Wriggle laughed as they both soared into the air to begin their duel.

After the first few waves of icicles and pill-bug shaped bullets, I ignored the battle and turned towards Rumia. She was floating in place with a smile frozen on her face.

"Why do you say something like that happened?" I asked her.

Rumia blinked at me slowly. "Because I remember it. I don't know why no-one else does, but I know it happened. Don't you remember it, either?"

"I wasn't even born yet."

"Is that so?"

I scratched my head. "Still, Cirno and the others already lived then, and none of them remember anything about it. Maybe you just dreamed it."

Rumia shook her head in absolute certainty. "It happened, and there's no way around that."

I frowned. "How can you be so sure?"

Rumia beamed with pride. "Because it was around the time I met the saint lady."

My frown deepened. "Who?"

Rumia grinned. "She's the one who taught me to do this." She nodded at her extended arms.

"Oh." I really didn't get what she was talking about, but it seemed to be important to her. "So, what else happened back then? Where did the demon tourists come from?"

Rumia tilted her head. "Makai, I guess. My mind was kinda on something else at the time, so I wasn't paying that much attention to what was going on, but that wasn't the only thing. Some youkai I knew just vanished around the same time, and Cirno and the others don't know about them either."

My eyes widened. "Vanished? Where?"

Rumia shrugged. "No idea. Sometimes, I think I only remember it because I remember the saint lady," She shrugged. "Or that's how I think about it, anyway." She sat down. "But the demon tourists really happened. I know it's weird how the others don't remember it, but it wasn't a dream. It was real."

"I don't think you're a liar."

Rumia nodded. Her stomach growled.

"Tell the others I'm going hunting," she said, looking at the others. Cirno and Wriggle were still duelling, with Dai-chan following with amused attention and Mystia half asleep by the tree again.

I nodded. "Yeah. Good luck."

Rumia smiled and vanished into a ball of darkness that quickly vanished into the woods. I looked where she had gone, trying to figure out what she had been talking about. I didn't think Rumia would lie, not on purpose, anyway. So, what had happened back then?

It wasn't really possible one person remembered something no-one else did, so it couldn't have happened. But still...Rumia had looked so certain. It was really weird.

I rubbed my head: it had started to hurt. Sometimes, I get this weird feeling that I'm forgetting something important, but I can never figure out what exactly it is. This felt the same, even though Rumia's memory couldn't have anything to do with it: based on what had been said the whole thing had happened over a year before I had come to be. What was it, then?

Maybe some day, I would figure it out. Either way, I shouldn't worry about it too much: Gensokyo was the land of strange things, and strange things would keep happening there until the day I drew my final breath.

I shrugged and rejoined the others, following the duel as a spectator by Dai-chan's side. The sun was setting on the woods, and the pretty red leaves looked like they glowed. Who could focus on the ghosts of the past when present time was a dream of wonder?


	4. Me and I

_It rains._

_It came down in torrents during the night, and still continues unabating now in the morning. There are puddles strewn everywhere in my path, countless reflecting pools of all sizes dotting the grey concrete._

_I run._

_I'm not certain why, or ever whether I'm running towards something or away from a threat. All I know is that it's vital, so I keep running down the grey corridor and through the faceless crowd surrounding me at all sides, with no end in sight. My heart pounds like no tomorrow, but I feel neither pain nor exhaustion._

This is a dream.

_But it doesn't feel like a dream. The raindrops hammering against the concrete and the murmurs of the crowd, the soaked clothes against my skin, and the musty air I breathe are all real._

_And so is the voice, pleased, taunting, almost regal, eerily familiar in a way that leaves me comforted in an strange, removed fashion, and beyond that fearful without being able to explain why, but above all simmering with an explosive rage, ready to burst..._

_"What is your name?"_

* * *

"Alraune! Alraune!"

I tried to respond, but something soft was in the way of my mouth, and the best I could come up with was: "Mmgph."

An impatient hand shook my shoulder, determined to rouse me from my stupor. "You're doing it again, Alraune. I told you to watch where you sleep."

My eyes fluttered open, more due to the constant shaking than any concerted effort from my part. I was lying flat on my face on the field I lived on, with lily-of-the-valley leaves and my bangs plastered against my mouth, and my arms dangling uselessly before me. All signs pointed to the fact that I had once again fallen asleep on my feet, and collapsed right where I had stood. I didn't know how long I had been out of it, but it had clearly done me little good: there was a strange buzzing sound ringing in my ears, and all my senses felt delayed and muffled. I could barely muster the energy to remove the hair and leaves from my mouth before my head sunk back onto the ground.

Medicine prodded my shoulder, not quite painfully, but with great determination. "Are you listening to me? You're crushing Su-san by lolling around like that."

"Sorry," I mumbled, and slowly rolled onto my back, wary of crushing my wings. Gravity was at full force, that was for certain it was as if invisible hands from Earth's centre were holding onto me, keeping me nigh paralysed and attempting to pull me through the ground. I swallowed. My mouth was dry and tasted like almonds.

When I finally managed to crack my eyes open again, Medicine was hovering slightly above ground, she and her faithful fairy doll peering down at me with matching frowns and folded arms. "This is the second time I've found you like this. Why?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. My leaden eyelids shut on their own, but I forced them back open. "I think I'm just really tired."

Medicine huffed. "From what? Excessive napping?" I could tell from the faint smile on her lips that she was joking, but she had a point: I spent more time asleep than in the land of the living in general, and there was no reason why I should suddenly struggle to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, let alone collapse without warning.

I rubbed my eyes. "I don't know. Maybe it's autumn sapping my strength away." I finally pushed myself up and looked around the valley surrounding us. Autumn was well under its way, but apart from a few dead leaves nothing on the Nameless Hill indicated that. Lilies-of-the-valley swayed gently in the breeze, and would continue to do so until the first frost.

_Lilies-of-the-valley only bloom in spring._

I snapped to attention and stared at Medicine. "Huh?"

Medicine's frown deepened. "Well?"

I hesitated. She was clearly expecting an answer, but what was I supposed to say to that? "But they must bloom in autumn as well. They're blooming all around us." I helplessly gestured at the flowers around us for emphasis.

Medicine gave me a long, searching look. "What are you even talking about? I asked whether you were seeing your friends today."

"Oh." That definitely made more sense. I shook my head wildly to rid it from whatever fragments of dreams stuck to it had made me hear things. "Yeah, I am. I should leave now, actually. I accidentally missed our last meeting."

Medicine quirked an eyebrow. "Sleep past it?"

I hung my head. "Yeah."

I looked around and found my dark green scarf lying a few feet away from me. I had found it hanging on a tree branch this spring, and it made for a useful shield against the spreading cold. I wrapped it around my neck, careful not to get it tangled with my hair or my wings, and barely suppressed another yawn. If anything, my impromptu nap had left me even more drowsy, and I yearned nothing more than to lie back down on the flowerbed and doze off once more. Instead, I rubbed my face in an attempt to both invigorate myself and to remove the imprints the blades of grass and flowers had left on my cheeks.

_Rain..._

"Alraune!"

I flinched and opened my eyes. I hadn't even realised I had shut them again. "What?"

Medicine placed her hands on her hips, the doll mimicking every movement. "Did you hear a word of what I just said?"

"No. I'm sorry." I looked at my toes as a blush of shame rose to my cheeks. What was I, a baby? Couldn't I go five minutes without falling asleep? There was no reason for me to be this tired.

_I never slept enough._

I froze in place. I was certain Medicine had said nothing, so what I had heard must have been my own thought. It was a thought that made no sense: even before the recent wave of exhaustion, I had always spent a lot of my time asleep. Whatever was making me so tired was clearly preventing me from thinking straight.

"Do you know diseases that cause sleepiness?" I asked Medicine.

Medicine shook her head. "I know nothing of the illnesses of fairies. Ask one of your friends."

"What about poisons? There must be poisons that cause drowsiness."

Medicine's normally closed-off face lit up, and she smiled dreamily into the distance. "Oh yes, plenty of them...so many beautiful poisons..." She sighed happily, then frowned. "There are, but I don't see how you could have come to contact with any of them. You haven't touched me, nor have I been manipulating any, and it surely isn't caused by Su-san. Not that Su-san's poison has an effect on Su-san's fairies in the first place."

I nodded, defeated. "I'll ask my friends, then."

Medicine nodded, and turned to leave, still frowning. I took to the skies, heading towards Misty Lake, struggling to stay focus, and doing what I could to ignore the seed of concern growing in my mind.

* * *

"Alraune?"

I looked up to see Mystia staring at me. We were all sitting under a large tree Misty Lake, waiting for the final rays of the sun to vanish beyond the horizon. "Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?" Mystia looked a little cross. "You missed the whole story."

"Sorry." I felt a pang of shame, and looked at the sky, a faint orange from the sunset, with only a few fluffy clouds to see. "I think it's going to rain."

Mystia looked skywards and frowned. "Why is that?"

"I can hear raindrops." They echoed inside my head. When I closed my eyes, I could see them in the darkness: thin, but unquenchable rain flowing through the void, ringing deafeningly in my ears. As I concentrated on the alien sensation, slowly my vision became clearer and more life-like: the background went from a void into a foggy, indistinguishable mass of colours and shapes, mostly grey and beige, ever shifting, impossible to pinpoint. Beyond the rain, I heard other sounds, the clamour of people, a strange, eerie female voice ringing on top of everything, drowning out even the rain.

I shivered as a spate of cold coursed through my veins and opened my eyes to see the same orange sky from before, but still feeling the drops of water on my skin.

_Skin? I had covered as much of it as I ever could with my red hoodie._

"What's a hoodie?" I asked out loud.

Cirno shrugged. "Some kinda food? Never heard of it."

The others made similar non-committal comments, and I was left with a lingering unease, as even now that I could see my arms and see they were as dry as a desert, I couldn't shake off the sensation of water drops on them. And what, exactly, was a hoodie? Had I made it up without even being aware of it?

_You have forgotten something._

It was as if a spellcard had gone off within my body, momentarily filling me with light and erasing all other thought; I returned from it shivering, and all the more confused. My head began to droop again from the exhaustion clinging to me. I looked at my feet, and saw my feet, clad in bizarre brown shoes, in a puddle of water. I rubbed my eyes, and when I looked again my feet were on dry grass, bare as ever, but I still felt the chill of cold water on them.

"Alraune?"

I blinked and looked up? "Yes?"

"What's wrong with you today?" Wriggle asked, frowning deeply, and as I looked around I saw the rest of them wearing matching frowns. "I've been calling your name for a minute now."

A trickle of cold sweat ran down my spine, feeling no less real or fake than the water I must have imagined earlier. "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Maybe I fell asleep again?"

"I don't know," said Dai-chan. Was I just imagining it, or was that fear on her face. "I watched you the whole time: your eyes were open, and you were moving your lips like you were speaking to someone."

I grimaced. "I'm sorry. I've slept weirdly lately. That's probably why."

Dai-chan didn't look at all convinced, but nodded anyway. "If you say so."

"Alraune?"

I tried to respond, but to no avail. I hazily felt that several minutes had passed without my knowledge, but as alarmed as I was, my eyes wouldn't stay open. The buzzing in my head had only gotten worse with time, drowning out the words of my friends. I forced my eyes open and could tell they were all looking at me, eyes wide but with otherwise unreadable expressions, and could make no sense of their words.

_This is wrong._

I opened my mouth to say something, to call my friends' attention to my predicament. No sound came out, as there were no words. I couldn't think from the buzzing, and it left me mute. Helplessly, I glanced up at the sparse clouds lazily making their way through the evening sky once more.

_It rained. It should be raining._

I shuddered.

"Alraune?"

I turned my head at the words and gave a start. I was face to face with an entirely unfamiliar girl with a black bob cut and a snub nose. I stared.

_You know who that is. It's your sister._

I don't have a sister. In a way, all fairies are siblings, but not in the literal sense. I have no family, so why would I ever think that? And yet, in some twisted, bizarre way, it felt right.

_It is right._

"Alraune!"

Now they all were staring at me, unfamiliar faces that despite all evoked in my gut a strange sense of familiarity.

_It's your sister. It's your parents. It's your home-room teacher. It's your best friend._

No. I shook my head wildly, covering my ears with my hands and squeezing my eyes shut, trying to shut out whatever was making me think the bizarre thoughts. You're wrong.

_I'm right. It feels wrong because you have slept for so long. You need to wake up now._

I cracked my eyes open, terrified and curious. The strange faces were still there, sporting looks of concern. I brought my hand forward to touch them and see if they were real.

And I froze. In place of my hand there was another, darker and more robust, leading to an arm wearing a red sleeve...

The next time I opened my eyes, Dai-chan was holding my hand (my normal hand, thank the myriad gods), and all my friends circled me, looking seriously spooked (save for Rumia, who was instead looking at the tree next to us.)

"Are you okay, Al-chan?" Cirno asked, looking unusually discomfited. "You wouldn't say anything when we spoke to you, and then started screaming and just kinda...collapsed."

"I did?" I asked, and then immediately winced: the mere act of uttering words made my head throb like no tomorrow. I don't remember that.

"Yeah, it was pretty freaky," said Wriggle. She shrugged. "You sounded like Mystia trying to imitate a banshee."

"Hey!"

"Well, she did!"

Dai-chan was still stroking my hand. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I guess..." though I wasn't, not really. If anything, the earlier buzzing had spread into my entire body, twisting my guts and making my stomach churn. I felt like throwing up.

_You should. You need to get rid of whatever is poisoning your mind._

"Alraune?" Dai-chan blinked, then frowned. "You're shivering."

I clutched her hand, too scared to speak again. But then, as I looked at Dai-chan's hand, I saw she was holding two, overlayed with one another. My own arm, with the ghostly image of the redclad arm surrounding it...

"What's happening to me?" I gasped, no longer caring that I was causing a scene.

Cirno leaned in closer. "What's wrong?"

I shuddered. "I'm not sure. I think I'm seeing things. There's a voice inside my head telling me to wake up, and—"

Cirno, who had been listening to me intently, suddenly raised her hand to interrupt me. "Sounds like you're possessed."

"Possessed?"

"Yeah. Like, there's another spirit inside you messing up with your head." She shrugged. "We'll just have to go see Reimu and ask her to deal with it."

_No. We don't have enough time. She will find us out._

"It's telling me not to."

"What is?"

"The voice."

Cirno placed her hands on her hips. "Then you definitely should. We're taking you to Reimu right now."

I neither could nor wanted to protest as she and Wriggle hauled me up on my feet and held me up, gently raising me into air as the others took flight towards the shrine.

Glad of not having to expend any of my own energy to move, savouring the cool breeze around as we rapidly approaching the shrine, I began to doze off once more.

_You can't fly._

I looked up and saw the ground far beneath us.

_Humans can't fly!_

My blood ran cold. intrinsically, without being able to put it to myself, I knew the voice was right.

"Get me down! Get me down!" I all but screamed, panic seizing hold of me and refusing to release me from its grasp even when I squeezed my eyes shut to look away from the suddenly painful-looking ground looming below me.

"Why?" Cirno asked, a touch impatient. Any other time, I might have understood her exasperation a little better, but right there and then I nearly began to shriek out of frustration.

"We can't fly!" I yelled back, shivering.

"Why not?!"

"Humans can't fly, that's why!"

"Yes they can! And we're not humans!" Cirno yelled back, a note of annoyance emerging in the timbre of her voice.

"Just get me down! I'm begging you. Please!"

Even from behind closed eyes I could tell Cirno and Wriggle looked at each other over my head, but then, mercifully, I felt the familiar jolt of an approaching landing in the back of my stomach, and soon felt solid stone beneath my feet. As soon as Cirno and Wriggle loosened their grip, I sank to my knees, shaking like a leaf in a breeze.

"What's wrong now?" Cirno asked. "Is it the voice again?"

I nodded feebly, and heard Cirno sigh. Dai-chan, Rumia, and Mystia had now caught up on us, and too landed on the narrow landing in the middle of the stairs to the Hakurei shrine. We had made it surprisingly far before the evil spirit within me reared its ugly head.

_I'm not an evil spirit! I'm trying to help you, you stupid—_

"Dai-chan," I began, desperate to drown the deceitful voice away. "How many steps are there?"

"I don't know," she replied, wearing the kind of expression you might wear on your face when visiting a seriously ill friend who you didn't know how to comfort. "We can make it on foot, though."

"Can you stand?" Wriggle asked. I nodded, but it still took both her and Cirno's strength on top of my own to get me on my feet. After that was done, however, I found I could stand relatively well.

"Okay," I said, then took a tentative step forward, landing my foot on the next step with reassuring ease. "Okay, I think I can do this."

There was no response.

I turned around. "Guys?"

Again, there was no response, but that was no longer my first concern. I stared, then rubbed my eyes, but this time doing so didn't change what I saw.

The sky was a uniform purple, dark and featureless as far as I could see. The shrubs and bushes around the steps, as well as the forest in the distance were pitch black, like silhouettes, motionless and eerie. The steps were pure white: gone were all signs of wear and tear, now the surface was entirely smooth and flat. A suffocating silence reigned, surrounding me like an oppressive force field.

I hugged myself, wide-eyed and shivering. There was no sign of my friends anywhere, or of any other living soul.

"Dai-chan?" I asked, my own voice sounding distant in my ears. "Cirno?"

"Alraune."

I swivelled around. Two steps above me stood Miss Yukari, holding her parasol with both hands, her voluminous skirts and long tresses billowing softly in the air despite there being no wind current. She gazed down at me quietly, with a fixed smile on her face.

I opened my mouth to greet her, but no words came out; an acute burst of pain temporarily blinded me, and it took all my strength to keep myself from falling onto my knees and tumbling down the stairs.

"Alraune."

I looked up. From an askew angle, and with my sight still blurry, Miss Yukari looked like a hazy apparition of gold, white and purple, almost as if I was seeing her through a sea of rain.

_It rained that morning._

I winced and squeezed my eyes shut, riding another wave of agony.

"What's going on?"

"I have transported us into a temporary pocket dimension. There is no need to be afraid." Miss Yukari gave me an oddly serious look. "You are in pain."

I saw no point in denying it: I could feel cold sweat on my forehead, and no doubt I looked absolutely wretched. So, I nodded. "But why did you bring us here?"

Miss Yukari made no response. She removed one hand from her parasol and extended it towards me. "Come. I will take the pain away."

I swallowed, and held out my hand. As I raised my foot to take the one last step that still separated me from Miss Yukari, I suddenly froze, my feet refusing to budge, like they had been nailed into the stone.

"Well?" Miss Yukari asked, not impatient, but clearly expecting me to move and fast. I tried again, but no matter what I remained as still as a statue.

_Don't listen to her!_

"Is something the matter?" Miss Yukari asked, the slightest sign of curiosity showing up on her countenance.

It took me a moment to realise I had been shaking my head. "No. Yes. I..."

_Get away from her! Now! Run!_

I gave Miss Yukari a helpless look. I didn't want her to be angry with me, so I tried to convey to her with my eyes what my mouth refused to, that it wasn't my choice to stay put. Fortunately, Miss Yukari seemed to have noticed my exasperation, because she showed no signs of getting angry. Rather, she moved closer to me, leaning forward.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice almost gentle.

I opened my mouth, but the best I could manage was a squeak. The voice in my mind screamed.

_Don't let her touch you! SHE'S THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO YOU!_

"Did what?" I asked without thinking, my vocal chords suddenly obeying. A shadow passed over Miss Yukari's face.

"I think I know what the problem is," she said quietly. She still didn't look angry, but it was difficult to be sure: my vision had once again gone blurry, and instead of a golden-haired lady with a parasol, I saw both her and a void, super-imposed with one another.

I held my head as darkness once again threatened to claim me.

_Run! Run! We have to get away from her or we'll never get back home!_

But before I could act, before I even understood what the voice said, Miss Yukari made her move. She took my hand resolutely in hers, her elegant lily-white hand clashing with my grubby paw.

"Look at me."

I didn't want to. I really didn't. I was scared of what the spirit inside me would make me see in Miss Yukari's stead, and even if that hadn't been the case, right then I was afraid of Miss Yukari anyway. But look I did, as if compelled to do so by some outer force I had no control over.

Miss Yukari wasn't smiling.

That's what struck me as horrifying, rather than any hallucination or vision of terror. Miss Yukari always smiled. Even when she wasn't literally smiling, there was always a hint of a superior smirk in her eyes when she looked at me, and curled up lips to match her gaze were never far behind. At least she didn't look cross, but the seriousness and strange earnestness of her expression paralysed me with fear all the same.

She felt my hand gently, and placed her other hand over the first.

"It is never good to remember too much," she said, her words quiet, but ringing loudly in my ears, further emphasised by the silent void around us. I stopped breathing. "All it brings forth is pain."

"Miss Yukari..." I stammered, the voice inside my head curiously silent. For some reason, even though the spirit wasn't saying anything I could suddenly tell how it was feeling, like the boundary between us had grown thinner. There was incandescent rage, and it made my pulse raise as if it had been mine. But there was also fear, a hesitation, even some acknowledgement that Miss Yukari was right, even though the spirit wanted to deny it with all its might. It struggled against something I couldn't see or sense, and while it no longer spoke, its pain screamed in my veins and made my limbs shake.

Suddenly, feeling its fear so acutely, I was no longer afraid of it. Now, I almost pitied it. It was clearly in enormous pain, in even more pain than I was in. Perhaps it truly had meant to help me. And perhaps, what it had tried to tell me, what it had said about Miss Yukari—

I felt Miss Yukari's hand on my forehead, cold to the touch, pushing aside my fringe. I closed my eyes—

—and opened them to see an emerging dusk, a few lazy clouds slowly making their way towards the orange horizon, Miss Yukari standing in front of me with an oddly strange expression, holding her parasol with both hands.

I blinked. "Miss Yukari?" I looked around, and realised i was standing on the stairs to the Hakurei shrine. When I began to ponder how exactly I had gotten there, Miss Yukari spoke.

"How are you feeling?"

"Um..." I thought about it for a while. "Good. Really good, actually." I hazily remembered having a headache earlier that day, but now the crystal was clear and everything felt wonderful.

"Did you have some business at the shrine?"

I raked my fingers through my hair. "Not that I can think of."

Miss Yukari smiled. "That is good. I believe you have plans to play with your little friends tonight."

"Oh!" I didn't bother to question how Miss Yukari knew. Miss Yukari knew everything she wanted to. "Can I say hi to them from you, Miss Yukari?"

Miss Yukari smiled at me with a hint of sarcasm. "You may, my little friend."

"Okay, I'll be going then. See you, Miss Yukari!" I waved, then turned to leave.

"Alraune?"

I turned around on my heels, slowly lowering my arms back to my sides, and looking back in askance. Miss Yukari had opened her parasol again, and stood unmoving in the middle of the step, like an incredible life-like statue. She had a strange look on her face: very serious, the kind I hardly ever expected from her for all her smiles and playful teasing. Her eyes were almost black beneath the shadow of the parasol, and for a moment I had the strange thought that she was impressed by something.

"Yes?"

For a brief moment, Miss Yukari looked me straight in the eye. "You are strong."

I laughed. "What are you even saying, Miss Yukari? I can't even make flowers bloom."

"Indeed."

When I blinked, she was gone. I idly wondered about the meaning of her words, then shrugged and launched myself into the air, enjoying my flight under the evening sun. It wasn't like a little lily-of-the-valley fairy like me could ever fathom what was on Miss Yukari's mind, so I might as well stop worrying and enjoy life.


End file.
